I’ve been thinking this morning… Why is it so hard to become like Jesus?  Actually it’s a thot that has come to me in many different ways during the course of this sabbatasizing process.  It’s a thot that could also come under similar headings like… Why is it so hard to change?  or… Crud, why did I do that again?  or… Shoot where did that attitude come from?

This question came to my mind again as I sat for two hours around the dinner table talking to a group of Estonian pastors about the process of transformation in our lives and the lives of people in our congregations.  Our discussion ranged from homosexuality to greed to marriage and family issues to conflict.  But shaping the whole conversation — at least for me — was this question… Why is it so hard to become like Jesus?

Maybe that isn’t your experience…maybe the day you became a Christ-follower…the transformation of your soul was handed to you with a nice bow.  But I gather that for most of us, this was not the case.  On the other hand, my deep, deep heart conviction is that the Jesus-transformation of my soul is possible.  So what makes it difficult?

The next few days I’ll share a few possible reasons…here is the first one.

1)  In a consumer-culture our minds have been conditioned for quick and easy.  We buy products fashioned for quick and easy consumption. Nobody milks cows and  then churns butter, we just to to the store and buy butter.  Go to Barnes and Noble and you realize that authors know that change sells…rows upon rows of self-help/change/personal growth books.  But how many books have titles like “5 Almost Impossible Steps to Becoming a Better Person” or “The Painfully Hard Journey to a Happiness.” or how about “Better Relationships:  If it was Simple Everyone Would Do It.” Then count the books that use words like quick or easy.

But following Jesus — becoming like Jesus — is a hard journey, Gary Thomas calls it The Beautiful Fight. It is not a consumer oriented experience.  It may be a spiritual battle.  It may be like training for the marathon.  It may even be like art — in my case more like sculpting granite, than painting watercolors — but it is not a consumer oriented experience.

If we want to become more like Jesus, we have to want it bad enough to battle for it, train for it, and chisel away for years on end, because of what we see inside.  When it comes to becoming like Jesus, I just wonder if we/I want it bad enough?

We started our second conference with Estonian pastors last night — another great group.  In this group is Leho who leads a church in Tartu and is excited about a missionary couple from our network, coming to help them with youth work.  I’m also getting a chance to know Meego, who is the president of the Baptist Union in Estonian — about 80 congregations throughout the nation.  Thomas is a quite man with 10 children and a strong heart for prayer — I think the one leads to the other!  Tovio is the director of the Estonian seminary, and a leader in Crossroads church in Tartu.  Crossroads average age is 23.  Then there is Pater and Urmas, they have a great heart for young people…tonight as we prayed at the prayer house, revival amongst the youth of Estonia was something that was very much in our hearts.

I spoke on the church without walls today…what an incredible privilege!  Well we got home from the prayer time at about midnight…so I’m off to bed.

So I am on a four month sabbatical and wouldn’t you know it… out of four months we could only find ONE week that the whole family could be together.  So a couple of weeks ago we headed to Florida for a week of family vacation.  While we were there a friend of ours from our first church treated us to a day at Discovery Cove.  What an amazing day!  Swimming with a dolphin, feeding sting rays, snorkeling and not only that but he got us this little private cabana, the girls were in heaven.  It was the highlight of our vacation and something that we never would have been able to do on our own.

This isn’t the only time that we have been on the receiving end of generosity.  In fact during my sabbatical, another friend has allowed us to use his mobile fastpass for gas, and another couple gave us the use of their summer cabin for three weeks.   Someone sold me two PSU football tickets for the price of one and another family let us use their boat for a family outing at Bald Eagle.  Nothing we deserved, just grace.

When I was a young man I thought that being on the receiving end of generosity, somehow diminished me, had to make it on my own.  In fact, in the Bible it says that it is better to give than it is to receive, right?  So I wouldn’t let anyone give me anything, till… one day an older man gave me a bit of wisdom.  “Dan,” he said, “It is better to give than it is to receive, so your refusal to receive is stealing the joy of giving for yourself.  If God puts it on someone’s heart to be generous to you, don’t steal their joy by refusing to receive.”

Have you ever been on the receiving end of generosity?  If you are a Jesus-follower, the only possible answer is yes.  Right?  Maybe you’ve never received a day at Discovery Cove, or a free week at a lake cabin, or a free pass at the gas station.  Maybe you’ve received gifts even greater.  Regardless of anything we have or haven’t received from people around us, the most amazing grace any of us have ever — could ever — experience, is the grace of God that we find in everything that Jesus is for us.

You are on the receiving end of generosity.  Don’t say no to Jesus.

I was reading an article in the CDT about oil and gas prices.  Oil prices are hovering below $110/barrel.  The last time that oil prices were $100 a barrel, gas was under $3.30 a gallon!  What was interesting about the article was its analysis about one potential reason for the rise and current drop in the price of oil.  China — specifically the fact that China was stockpiling oil before the Olympics, just in case something happened with the power grid.  Now that the Olympics are over, they will be buy less oil as they use up the stockpile.

The first thought in my mind?  Isn’t it amazing how connected the world is today.  Olympics in China equals higher gas prices in State College.

The second thought in my mind?  My neighbor Bill.  Bill lived across the street, a few houses down.  An incredibly fascinating man, he was a nuclear physicist…I believe one of the first at PSU.  Over the course of the last dozen years living in our neighborhood, we connected occasionally.  Did I ever pray for him?  Yes.   I said hi a few dozen times.  We had a more extended “how-are-you-doing” conversation once or twice.  In fact we even had him over for a meal once.

When we came home from our family vacation in Florida, a brigade of cleaning vehicles were parked on the street.  Bill was gone.  To be honest, I don’t know if he moved in with family, moved into a care facility, or died.  All I know is that after living 12 years in the same neighborhood, I never really knew him.

We may live in a world that is so connected that Olympics in Beijing can change the price of gas in State College, but when it comes to relationships with people, we only connect if we choose to connect.  In Acts 17:26-27, Paul seems to say that God chooses where we live and when we live there — not for us — for our neighbors, so that we might be able to help them find God, when they look.  And then Jesus called us to love our neighbors like we love ourselves.  But it can’t happen unless we see our neighborhoods filled with neighbors God has called us to serve.  It won’t happen unless we choose to connect.

I’m praying for Bill tonight.  I’m praying that he has moved to a place, where he will find someone who connects with him in a way that I did not.  And I’m praying for me…asking God to enlarge the capacity of my heart for my neighbors.

Who knows, maybe there is a “Bill” in your neighborhood?

It’s about 6am on Labor Day Monday.  Gustav is currently scheduled to make landfall around noon.  Close to 2 million people evacuated, all kinds of questions about the levees in New Orleans, and people’s lives in upheaval.  I don’t normally pray about the weather, I usually figure God knows what’s needed better than I do.  But today as I drive home from Minneapolis, I will be praying.  Join me.

On Thursday while we were moving Katy into Bethel, I kept running into people from my past.  I played college football with Randy Pate; he has a son who is a freshman at Bethel.  I coached Ron Glazner; he has a daughter who is a freshman at Bethel, same floor as Katy.  Then on Saturday I got befriended on facebook by a high school classmate — that’s one of the great things about facebook, making some social reconnections.  Then Lynn and I spent Sunday night with Jay, Jimmy, BJ, Collin and Mike and some of their wives.  We all played football at Bethel over 20 years ago — not the wives! — and sitting down around the table was like picking up where we all left off.

What a great group…very cool to see how God has used and shaped each one of them over the course of the years.  It was a great night.

So this weekend has me thinking about people from my past, friends, teachers, coaches, people that I laughed with, played with, pulled pranks with, sought God with… I have so many people, to whom I owe a debt of gratitude for giving me some of those moments, and for letting God use them to shape me.

So I’m gonna send some letters, or maybe e-mails, or maybe a facebook message or two…just saying thanks.  Who do you need to thank?

I just spent the last three days with my girls in New York City — well two of my girls, Lynn had to stay home with the boys. I’m sitting here late at night after a day spent at Madame Toussade’s Wax Museum, a carriage ride in Central Park, shopping at Bloomingdales, and the Broadway Theatre version of legally blonde. I’m sitting at the window overlooking the lights of Manhattan at 3 in the morning — just thinking back over the last few days.

And here is what I’m thinking… I just love to see my kids smile. I loved surprising Sarah and Katy with my generosity. I loved it when they smiled, and laughed when we got in the limo for our tour. I loved the look on their faces when we were able to get Bailey Hanks autograph after legally blonde. I loved being able to give them a little extra cash for a pair of jeans… (I do get annoyed when they fight over clothes so they each got their own pair!)

Anyway did you ever wonder if God as holding out on you? Do you ever wonder if somehow He has forgotten about you, or somehow something you did, disqualified you from receiving a blessing from God? Sometimes I have and sometimes I do. But there was a point somewhere this weekend, as I was watching the girls smile…when my heart was just getting kinda full…where I sensed God saying, “And do you really think you love them more than I love you? I get just as much joy from blessing you, as you get from blessing them. You just have to remember that you are my son…and I am your Father.

I think that’s what Paul is getting at in Romans 8:31-32 “What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” It could be that what we make of the fact that God is our Father is heart-shaping center of our faith. What do you make of the fact that God is your Father?

This week, my desire to bless my daughters gave me just a bare hint of Father God…and that’s a good thing — even at 3 in the morning!

Wow, for anyone who had started thinking that you would get a daily posting from me… apologies. It’s been a whole week since I last posted. But that doesn’t mean nothing happened! I traveled home from Orlando — a day and a half ahead of tropical storm Fay — where we had a great family vacation. Four month sabbatical and we were only able to find ONE WEEK where we could get everyone together. Can you relate? Anyway…it was a great vacation, I’ll probably post more on that later.

So back to the short version of this last week… I traveled home from Orlando. Celebrated my birthday, by getting a tooth extracted and then going to Waffleshop with my family. Then I spent a day getting school loans and paying school bills. Then Jake & Josh & I built a fire-pit in our backyard for Katy’s going away party. And now I’m sitting in the car with my girls, headed to New York City for three days in the Big Apple (don’t worry Sarah’s driving as I type this).

Three days in New York City with Sarah and Katy, Broadway play, carriage ride in Central Park, Madame Tousade’s Wax Musuem in Times Square, a NYC tour, and lots of shopping. Pray for me. Shopping takes more out of me than mountain climbing and rollercoasters. :)

Well, not exactly, but close. I’m with my family this week in Orlando and today it rained, so we headed to the outlets. Of course everyone headed to the outlet mall, so it was hard to find a parking spot. Finally found a parking spot and then we walked halfway around the mall before we could find an entrance. Along the way, we debated whether a definition of hell might be “getting to the outlet mall but not finding a way in” or just “getting to the outlet mall.” I’ll let you guess which side I was on.

But anyway we finally got in the mall, I went with the boys, Lynn went with the girls… the guys headed to the Nike outlet store. The place was packed…but what was really interesting was walking around trying to decipher all the languages and countries represented in this one store. French, Egyptian, Japanese, English, I think German, and Spanish…and perhaps a handful of other Asian countries that I couldn’t identify. Everywhere I turned I saw another nationality and heard another language. It was like a mini-olympics.

You know where else that happens? You don’t have to go to Iraq to meet an Iraqi. You don’t have to go to Thailand to meet a Thai. You don’t have to go to Korea to meet a Korean. You don’t even have to go to Orlando. All you have to do is hangout at PSU…or even better yet…

1) Help out at the garage give-away being held at Calvary for International students. People are needed Thursday, Friday and Saturday to help set-up and good useful household items that you are willing to donate are needed as well. Contact Bill Saxton at wjs9@psu.edu if you can help.

2) Attend the International Welcome Picnic on Sunday August 17th from 4-8pm at Penn State’s Findlay Commons (East Halls). You will have the opportunity to meet and share with a variety of international students. Who know what God might do through them for you…or perhaps even through you for them.

R.O.I. That’s return-on-investment. You remember a few months ago, a terrible cyclone battered the country where we support some orphanages. (I would rather not use the name — as even leaders in that country can google and I would rather they not read my blog! But if you are from Calvary, you know.) So anyway at Calvary we collected over $20,000 for relief help…in addition our national network of churches collected another $5000 and gave to us to distribute. I just want to give you a small report of how those funds are being put to use.

The funds are being sent to the orphanage and school leaders with whom we work. They in turn are using the funds to buy food, building supplies, seed for new rice crops, and farming machinery. They have been working (and continue to work — months later there is still so much to do and so much suffering to relieve) primarily in two different areas…one area contains seven villages, the second area contains three villages. In area one — extensive work has been done to help the villages plant new rice crops, 4 plowing machines were bought and a very important bridge was built. Without this bridge the people would have been unable to get the plowing machines to the rice fields. This fields required plowing machines to replant the rice because the land has been so contaminated by salt water and dead bodies. The building of this bridge brought out all the people, young and old from the seven villages. The village ruler said, “I’ve never seen all my villagers come together like that in such a great crowd filled with great joy and happiness.” The bridge was dedicated last weekend and one of the orphanage leaders had the chance to tell all the villagers that there is a bridge (Christ) that no storm will ever break.

Teams continue to go into the hard hit areas bringing food, burying bodies, and telling people about Jesus. That offering that we took — the largest single offering we have ever given — is being used in incredible ways…and I know that God is pleased. This is what it means to be a church without walls.
One of the leaders said this in recent e-mails…

I do not know how to thank you all. I could not express my thanks by this letter. However, let me say,” THANKS AND THANKS TO YOU ALL”. Please pass our thanks to those who participate for this projects. Your prayers, Love, Heart and especially the offer you make, you have helped us make the people’s life change from hopeless to great hope and lots of people come to believe Jesus. I praise God that the Lord Himself puts you in the best place for our ministry. I am very proud of you for He uses you to help our people in their most needy time. You save lots of live not only spiritually but also in physical. Please extend my thanks to everyone who support our ministry through you for this special time.

So I know gas costs too much…and oil is going higher as the stock market goes lower…and we wonder if the economy is going in recession, but the bottom line is that we have so much for which to be thankful — not least of which is the opportunities that God gives us to give away, what he has already given us.