My name is Dan Nold and I’m a recovering Christian.  That’s how we ended this weekend’s talk at Calvary.  It was apology #1 in our UnChristian series — sorry for our hypocrisy.  I felt a little odd saying that statement, “I’m a recovering Christian.”  It puts Christianity on par with AA — Christians Anonymous.  But in so many ways in the eyes of the next generation the word Christianity is on par with alcoholism.  We can say, That ain’t fair.”  But fair or not, our press isn’t too good at the moment.

And let’s be honest, there are reasons why our press isn’t good — take hypocrisy for example.

In a Barna study released in 2007, they found that most of the lifestyle activities of born-again Christians was statistically the equivalent of those who were not born-agains.  Christians were just as likely to gamble or visit a pornographic website, we were just as likely to take something that didn’t belong to us, just as likely to consult a pyschic or medium, and just as likely to get drunk.  We were just as likely to get in a fight, abuse someone or take drugs.  We were just as likely to have lied or said something mean behind someone else’s back.

Do you know where we were different?  We flip people off less often and we were less likely to have bought a lottery ticket in the last 30 days.

When I read that I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry.  No wonder I get weird looks from Christians when I show them my lottery ticket.  I didn’t realize it was one of the two essential qualities that define a Christian.  I mean isn’t that what we teach our kids or tell our friends.  If you want to be a Christian, limit your lottery tickets and put away your middle finger.

Is it any wonder we are charged with hypocrisy?  Is this what Jesus wanted Christians to be marked by?    NO.  He said that we would be known as his followers by the quality of your love, by the size of your heart, by the depth of your passion for God and your capacity to love your neighbor.

Don’t miss this.  The reason we struggle with hypocrisy is that we have prioritized the wrong things.  We have prioritized sin avoidance, rather than prioritizing the expansion of the capacity of our hearts. I’m not saying that flipping people off is okay.  I’m simply saying that it doesn’t matter what we do with our middle finger if our hearts are small.

So this week, I’ll be holding my rag (if you want to understand the rag reference, you’ll have to listen to the talk

) and saying to myself,  My name is Dan Nold and I’m a recovering Christian… but my deep desire is that I would be a heart-shaped, fully formed, passionately authentic follower of Jesus Christ. But it’s a process…and along the way…  we all have rags.

In a previous post, I talked about the power of an apology. Then today I ran across this study. How powerful is an apology? A new study finds that businesses who apologize to unhappy customers are more likely to keep their business than when they offer the individuals cash. Researchers worked with a company involved in about 10,000 eBay sales a month. When customers gave negative or neutral feedback, the company randomly offered them either an apology or cash in exchange for taking down the negative feedback. About 45 percent of those who were offered an apology withdrew their negative complaint, while only 23 percent of those who were offered cash did so.

Apparently for many people an admission of failure is worth more than making it right financially.

In the book UNchristian, David Kinnamon discusses the perceptions that people outside the church have of Christians.  One that we have heard for years is… the church is full of hypocrites. But then Kinnamon said something that has stuck with me since I first read the book.  In the study he found that people are less bothered by the fact that Christians mess up, and more bothered by “our swagger.”

I guess it’s not so much about being right, as it is about being humble.

You may remember his book The Prayer of Jabez. It was  faith-building book that challenged us to pray.  In his new book, You Were Born for This Bruce Wilkinson takes it a step further; he challenges us to be someone’s answer to prayer.

At Calvary we talk frequently about the power of doing good.   Our theme verse for 2009 talks about the good deeds that God has planned in advance for us to do.  In other words, it’s not just about doing good, it’s about doing the good God has planed for us to do.  When we combine our good deeds with God’s good power, awesome stuff happens.

Here’s the question I would ask you, “What would happen if you walked out the door each morning expecting God to deliver a miracle through you to someone in need?  How do we do that?  How do we know when we run into a God-opportunity to do good?  With great stories, and simple, practical principles, Wilkinson describes how anyone can be part of God’s miracle delivery system.

I loved the book.  The stories were inspiring and faith-building.  I read it through in a couple of days and lately I’ve been asking God to open my eyes to the good He has prepared for me.

So here is the deal.  I have ONE BOOK TO GIVE AWAY. If you would like the book, respond to this blog post in the comment section and share a time when God used you to do good, a time when you were the answer to someone else’s prayer. All of your stories will inspire me and I will choose one of you to receive the free book.

If you would like to listen to Bruce Wilkinson share about the book, watch the video below.

This weekend we start a new teaching series at Calary UNchristian – confessions of a recovering church.  (Click the logo to find out more about the series.)  It’s going to be an opportunity for us to apologize to some people who have been hurt or offended by the church.

I don’t know if you have ever experienced the power of an apology.  I would guess you have.  I hope you have.  I remember one time about 18 years ago, I had only been a pastor for about 2 years and it had been an incredibly difficult week.  I had made multiple trips to a hospital that was 80 miles away to visit two different people who were struggling with serious physical trauma.  Meanwhile I had been putting in long days working through some local church issues.  In addition I still had a sermon to prepare.  It was one of those 70 hour weeks.  Sunday evening I was just relaxing, everything was done.  I had made it.

Then I got the phone call.  A man from the church began to attack me with words that detonated like grenades on my heart.  “You don’t care about people.  You are just doing this for a paycheck.  You’re not a true shepherd, you’re just a hired hand.  You’ve never really cared. If my wife died, you wouldn’t care.” And on and on he went.  I will be honest, the first thoughts that came to my mind were something like, “How dare you, you mean, ignorant old man.” That would’ve been the nice part.

But something happened.  God hijacked my mouth.  Instead of all the words going through my mind, what came out of my mouth were the simple words, “I am so sorry.” Instantly the anger went out of his voice and I heard the tears come out of his eyes.  I found out he wasn’t so much angry as he was afraid.  His wife had taken a turn for the worse.  I didn’t know about it, but he didn’t know that I didn’t know.  Today we are still good friends.  That’s the power of an apology.

Now let me explain the power of an apology.  It isn’t just a relational, emotional, forgiveness kind of thing.  The power of an apology is supernatural.  The biblical author James says in James 4, that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble and when we humble ourselves before God, He lifts us up and gives us grace.  A sincere apology requires humility.  Humility is the key that opens the door to grace.  When we say, “I’m sorry.” amazing grace flows strong.  That’s the power of an apology.

Starting this week, we’re (Calvary) going to do some apologizing.  We are going to tell our community that we are sorry for not looking more like the Jesus we follow.  We are going to apologize for the times we’ve been judgmental, hypocritical and too political.  We are going to apologize for the times when we have given the impression that we hate homosexuals.  We are going to apologize for our swagger.

And I’m expecting an overflow of God’s grace.

Maybe between now and then you should practice.  Is there someone in your life to whom you need to apologize?

I’m sure I could figure out a deep spiritual point to go along with this video. Maybe something about revenge. Nope it makes revenge look fun, that wouldn’t work. Maybe something about the importance of husbands and wives having fun together. Yeah, this probably isn’t what the marriage counselor had in mind. Could do something on the importance of forgiveness, but we don’t see it on the video. Hopefully it happened later.

But it’s just funny. It made me laugh. And i think that sometimes it’s just good to laugh. So watch the video. Close your ears as she runs into the house — a couple of words slip out. But don’t miss the slow-motion re-run.

We  spent some time last weekend at Calvary talking about our mission.  The Gathering Pastors (multi-site pastors at each location) looked at Luke 10 and I talked a bit about our theme verse for the year.  Ephesians 2:10 — “We are God’s workmanship — (You are God’s craftmanship.  You are God’s masterpiece.  Literally, “you are what God does.”) — created in Christ to do the good works he prepared in advance for us to do.”

I just gave everyone 4 words.  Do Good.  Here.  Now.   That’s one way of looking at our mission.

This weekend we start a new series at Calvary.  “UnChristian — Confessions of a Recovering Church.”  It’s an apology of sorts, and an apologetic of sorts, but it will also be a reminder that our mission is to become and do like Jesus.  There are a few people out there in the world who don’t think we are doing such a good job of that.

If you haven’t read the book UnChristian, you may not realize that only 3% of teens and 20 somethings have a positive view of the evangelical church.  They think we are too political, too judgmental, too hypocritical, and we hate homosexuals.  Now — if your first thought is a defensive one — my prayer is that you will grab all the humility your heart can hold and simply ask God to give you His perspective on the church — and your part in it.

If you have a moment — watch the video.

Who Do They Say We Are? from Dan Nold on Vimeo.

So Lynn and I spent yesterday at our 25th College reunion at Bethel University.  It’s the first homecoming football game at Bethel that I’ve attended in about 20 years.  Football at Bethel has come along ways since I was there.  I played four years and coached three in the 80’s.  In my days, the field was barely two steps above a cow field, there was no grandstand, and the few fans in the stands were 90% parents and girlfriends.  (Thank you Lynn and Mom and Dad!)  Now there is a top quality field, a great grandstand, and stands filled with cheering fans.  So it was pretty cool to watch Bethel demolish Concordia (ranked top 20 in the nation) 29-10.

As I was watching the game, and talking to old teammates, of course our conversation frequently went back to “our days.”  We speak of of our days with a lot of laughter — but also I think with a deep sense of gratitude.  During the seven years that I played or coached we rarely won more than 3 games a year.   If all you looked at was the score, you would say that we were losers.  Now hear me — I love winning.  I’m not one of those soccer dads, or t-ball dads who found it easy to say, “the score doesn’t matter.”  I kept track of who won even when they didn’t keep track of who won.

But as I think back on those days of “losing” and I look at the friends I gained, the leadership and life lessons I learned, and the attitude of perseverance that began to grow as a habit, I realize I would not trade those years of Bethel football for 20 wins or a national championship.  As I hung out with these guys and listened to a bit of their stories, I told God thank you for the part that persevering through loss — with friends who were also teammates — played in my life.

See there are times when losing isn’t for losers, it’s for people who want to grow.  There are times when losing isn’t about the score, it’s about making a decision that you simply will not quit.  There are times when losing is a momentary setback that leads a deepening of the kind of character that turns boys into men, men into fathers and husbands, and great followers of Jesus.  There are times when losing isn’t about what you have done, it’s a refining process for who you will become.

I could take multiple blog posts and tell you stories about BJ and Jimmy, Curt and Collin, Randy and Lance, Mark and Bryan, Griff and Dale, Jim and Mike, and a whole bunch of guys that weren’t able to be there this weekend.  Stories about the good old days flowed freely, but it’s really the stories I see God writing in their lives right now that get me the most pumped up.  I know there were many influences that have shaped those stories through the years — but I can’t help but believe that 4 years together, working through the adversity of loss, played a part in all our lives.

One last thing — we prayed for Bryan McKay.  He was a roommate, a teammate and a friend.  He’s been struggling with cancer, brain and esophagus for about five years — and as one teammate said, “He has faced this difficulty with fearlessness and perseverance.  He is one of my current heroes.  He is a reminder to me that there are times when losing simply isn’t a game — but even in those times as a follower of Jesus, we can find the strength and the joy to fearlessly persevere.

So — for those of you who are PSU football fans.  Lighten up.  There are times when losing isn’t about you.  So what if you were disappointed.  There are around 100 young men who will have the opportunity to learn through their loss and who knows maybe God will begin to plant some seeds in their lives — through this loss — that are still bearing a harvest 25 years from now.  I think that’s even more important than beating Iowa.

I believe in setting goals; one of the lessons I’ve learned in life is that if we aim for nothing.. we’ll get it.  I’ll never forget one morning, when I was about 13.  It was the opening morning of duck season, and I was alone in a slew (that’s wetlands for anyone who did not grow up in South Dakota — thank tall grasses, reeds, and little pockets of water.) patiently waiting for the ducks to start flying in.

I shouldn’t say I was patiently waiting, actually I was quite impatient.  So I began playing with my gun — a single shot with a hammer.  Yep I was playing with the hammer, pulling it back, letting it click into place, releasing it, pulling it back. One time I forget to release it, and left it cocked; forgot it was cocked and a moment or two later, pulled the trigger.  The gun roared, and scared the.. whatever out of me as the gun went flying through the air to land about 20 feet behind me.  My heart quit beating.  Dad was too far away to see what had happened, he just heard the shot.  But I have a sneaking suspicion he knew
what had happened as he hollered out in his deep voice, “Did you get it Dan? Did you get it?”  There was no “it” to get, but I guess you could say I got what I was aiming at — nothing.

Doesn’t matter what area of life we’re talking about; career, family,  spirituality, finances, sports, church, school; aim at nothing and that’s what we’ll get.  So if we want to experience Kingdom success, it would be wise to ask ourselves, “What’s the goal?  What’s lined up in the sights of Jesus-followers?

What is the mission?  What are we aiming at? This life that we seek is a life from the heart.  I don’t mean it’s just an emotional, touchy, feely kinda life.  It may be emotional, it will be experiential, but the reality is it will be more…for our heart Prov. 4:23 says is the very wellspring of life…anything that makes life worth living flows out of your deep heart.

So for what kind of heart are you aiming?  Make it practical and specific.  I want to lie 50% less.  I want to do 6 good deeds for my neighbor.  I want to quit worrying about my ______________.   I want to be more generous so I will _____________.

Oh yeah — and maybe this is for a different blog.  The most vital part of your goal setting process might simply be to figure out what you will STOP aiming at.

God is an artist.  Imagine Him for a moment — chisel in hand — looking for just the right spot in your heart to strike the chisel and reveal the glory of God in your heart.  God is a master-artist and He never does art halfway.  He is a passionate God. He’s not a “just get by” kind of God.  He pours His whole being into what he does.  Look at creation.  Billions of stars?  Did we really need billions of stars or do we have billions of stars because God poured his whole being into creation?

And it’s not only huge galaxies which God created with passion.  He poured his whole being into the creation of something as small as the human eye.   Did you know that on a clear day the human eye can easily see an elevated object 40 miles away?   That same eye, with in a single scnd can refocus on a bug that lands on your arm.  The human eye can differentiate between a 1000 shades of color.  Now I couldn’t tell you if it’s salmon or chartreuse, but I know they’re different.

When comes to creation –when it comes to the Creator’s passion– We are the passion of God.  Paul says in Ephesians 2:10 that we are the workmanship or even masterpiece of God.   Literally he says, “You are what God does.”  When He does anything, He pours His whole being into it.  He did it in the creation of the world, and he does it in the continuing creation of our lives.  God has poured and is pouring his whole self into making you every bit the masterpiece He has dreamed of in you.

You are what God does and whatever he does, he does with all his heart.  He pulls out all the stops. He looks at the messed up masterpieces of our lives and says I can save that.   And when God saves, he doesn’t save halfway.  He doesn’t just “sort of” save us.  He doesn’t, make-em-okay-so-they-don’t-stink-so-bad, kinda save us.  He is sculpting Jesus in our hearts.

How does God sculpt my heart,my life into the image of Jesus?  Here is what I want you to imagine in your mind… I want you to imagine asking God to make you more like Jesus.   Then I want you to see God walking up to you with a great big hammer and chisel.  Gotta take a little off here, oh big swing right there — hang on.

Watch the video.  We showed it last week…and ask yourself where is God working in my life?

“>

It was a bright and beautiful August day, when Tobin McAuley, his best friend, and their girlfriends rented a catamaran to go sailing off the coast of Mexico.   Nearly two miles off shore, Tobin’s buddy and the girls jumped into the warm water for a leisurely swim.  They were laughing and splashing…until suddenly Tobin’s friend began shouting for help.  Cramps had gripped his legs.  Quickly Tobin maneuvered the catamaran as close as he could to the swimmers.  The girls scrambled on board.  Tobin glanced around the boat for a life jacket, but there weren’t any, so he dove into the water to save his friend.  The problem was the girls didn’t know how to sail.  Frantically they tried to keep the catamaran near the guys, but the current pulled the craft away, faster than Tobin and his friend could swim toward it.  Pretty soon the boat had drifted out of sight — & 29 year old Tobin and his 30 year old friend were left behind to drown.

Not the way it’s supposed to happen is it?  Somebody goes off to war, we understand the risks.  We hear the word cancer and we know we may be facing the condition of dying.  But four young people enjoying themselves on a sailing jaunt should not start the day living their last moments of life.

This year the Dado family sent their 18 year old son to college.  Last Sunday he never made it home from a party Saturday night.  On Monday they found his body — accidental death, fell down a stairwell, head trauma.  That’s not how it’s supposed to happen is it.  I have a daughter at Penn State and another at Bethel University in MN.  We sent them to gain the experiences and education of a lifetime — for a lifetime.

I’ve been struggling with this one.  All sorts of thoughts.  Like…

– It was pretty amazing how the PSU students rallied together to try to find Joseph, but in my heart, I wish we could get students to rally to convince each other to drink a little less, to party a little less hard.

– I love Penn State.  The students who attend Calvary are one of the highlights of my week.  My daughter has gained great experiences and education at Penn State.  But my heart grieves when being the #1 party school is celebrated.  There is so much more to life & even more to PS.

– I’m grieving for the family.  My prayers are with them.  I cannot fathom their loss.  I did not know Joseph, but reading the reports he was a young man with good goals, great abilities, and many friends — and that tells me he had a good heart.  What will the world miss because Joseph will no longer be a part of it?

Last Sunday at Calvary — on the day that Joseph Dado died.  We talked about the fact that Creator God not only wants to give us life, He wants to create and shape our lives into a masterpiece of grace.  You are the creator’s passion.  (

)  You are what God does.  That means that the loss of a single PSU student is the loss of a future masterpiece.  But it’s not only death that takes away life — I am convicted that any PSU student who misses God, misses some part of the masterpiece that their life could be… I can’t tell you how you much this burdens me.  Our lives need to be lived out introducing future masterpieces to the master-creator.  We cannot be a people who go to church, we must be a church that goes to people.  We must be a compelling example of Jesus to the Centre Region.

God has placed us upstream from the next generation of His Masterpieces.  He is looking for people who will get passionate about partnering with his purposes for them.  He is looking for people who will live their lives for others with an urgency of grace and the courage of compassion.  I am determined to be one of those people.  That’s how it’s supposed to happen.

My prayers are with Joseph’s family.  His friends.  And his generation.