Pay Attention to Your Tears

Jun 24th 2011

I got a bit emotional in our staff meeting this week.  Perhaps more than a bit.  Almost every Calvary staff meeting involves God-stories.  This week a number of the God-stories gave a glimpse of people desperate for God.  People approaching followers of Jesus and asking them why they never invited them to church or talked about Jesus with them.  People grabbing followers of Jesus and asking them if it was okay if they came to church.  People asking for prayer that they would be able to believe in Jesus.

After four or five of these stories, I felt led to share.  What if Jesus really meant what he said, when he looked at his disciples and proclaimed, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few, so pray to the Lord of the Harvest…” What if those words are just as true today as they were on the day they poured over Jesus lips?

I was sharing some of these thoughts and then some from Isaiah’s vision of transformed cities.  I’m not sure I can even explain it, but in the midst of sharing, I couldn’t.  Deep emotion welled up inside.  Tears.  Heart squeezing out my eyes.  At the moment I wasn’t even sure why.  In my mind I was thinking, “God where is this coming from?”

Frederick Buechner has written,

“Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears. It is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from…and where you need to go next…”

What were the tears telling me?  I’m still not sure.  Maybe some of it had to do with God’s heart for people.  Sometimes He gives us just a taste of his passion for lost and broken people.  Perhaps some of it had to do with my own desperation for God, his way of saying, “You miss me.”  Both of those have been causes for tears in the past.

But I think there was something more this time.  I think the emotion rose, as I sensed God’s reaffirmation of a promise, a promise of His work in our region.

I’m not sure, but I am paying attention.  Are you/