The Wedding Day is Not the Highpoint

Jun 10th 2009

Today is my 25th wedding anniversary.  It was a good day.  Lynn and I have been spending a few days away in the Bahamas to celebrate.  So today was the day.  We traveled about a half hour to spend the day at Lucayan National Park — Grand Bahama.  It started with a self-guided tour of a cave that is currently functioning as a nursery for bats.  Lynn loved that.  Then we headed to the park’s beach — Gold Rock Beach.  I highly recommend it.  Beautiful beach — not many people, almost private.  Unfortunately as we were walking through the park to the beach we were hit by a torrential downpour.  So let’s see, bats in a cave and a hike in the rain, followed by a cloudy day at a beautiful beach.  Then back to the condo to change for supper.  Had supper at Luciano’s — overlooking the marina and back to the condo for a short walk along the beach.

Spent the whole day talking about the past 25 years of marriage — but here was the high point of our conversation: Both of us agreed that if we had to choose between living our wedding day over and living today over — we would choose today.  Don’t get me wrong, our wedding day was a great day.  But you know what?  The wedding day should not be the highpoint of a marriage.  The days should get better as you go.

When it comes to marriage too many people have the idea that marriage is like a new car.  On your wedding day you get a new car and from that point on you do everything you can to keep that new car looking nice and running smooth, but the reality is that over time, every new car becomes a used car.  At some point you trade it in or junk it.  A better metaphor for marriage is that on your wedding day you are giving… a box of parts.  From that point on you work together to put the parts together, so that what you end up with in the end is of infinitely more worth than what you had on day one.

That’s what I value about my relationship with Lynn.  We are still putting together the parts and what we have today is better than what we had then.  Check in with me in 25 years, I have no doubt that what we have together then will be better than what we have today — and we will still be putting together the parts!