The Only Things Certain in Life…

Apr 16th 2010

Are death and taxes…  At 11:39pm tonight I was on my way to the State College Post Office.  Last year when I went — a few minutes earlier — the police had pulled over a car right in front of the post office.  My heart immediately went out to him…as I held back thedeath-and-taxes3 laughter.  It’s just not right to get a ticket while trying to get your taxes in under the deadline.

Benjamin Franklin was one of the first to put death and taxes together.  He wrote, “‘In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”  But I disagree…there are other things just as certain as death and taxes… for example.

  1. 1) If a woman in a crowd gets up to go to the bathroom, she will not go alone.
  2. 2) Joe Paterno will say the football team is average…sometime before the Blue/White game.
  3. 3) You can trust God.
  4. 4) If you are a male public speaker, the first time you forget to check your zipper…
  5. 5) If it is at all possible, the top of my jeep will not be on my jeep.
  6. 6) When I ask Josh what he learned in school, he will answer, “Nothing.”
  7. 7) A man doesn’t really care what’s on (tv).  He just wants to know what else is on.
  8. 8) I married up & I love watching my kids grow up.
  9. 9) If you tell a guy that something really smells bad, he’ll check for himself.
  10. 10) The death and resurrection of Jesus is the single most important event in all history.

Those are just a few of the things of which I am fairly certain.  By the way,  if #10 is certain,  it means that loopholes exist — not just for taxes but also — for death.